You Must Finish This Paper As Swift As A Coursing River

Let’s get down to business to defeat the Huns….uh..I mean finals.

I procrastinate on the WordPress Freshly Pressed page. I feel like it’s at least a little bit better than bonding with the astounding selection of sitcoms on Netflix. Today, there was a great post featuring the song “I’ll Make A  Man Out Of You” from Mulan. It was about procrastinating. One of my classmates posted a Disney Songs flashback the other week that included the song as well. I took this as a clear and obvious sign from above that I was to write an inspired post in which I conveyed the energy and empowerment I glean from seeing Mulan totally show up all those stupid boys. And in order to do this, I’m going to share with you some heartfelt re-interpretations of some Disney Princess songs. Enjoy.

Belle: Tale as old as time. True as it can be. Barely even done, then somebody cries, unexpectedly. Just a little test. Small to say the least. I’m just a little scared, not at all prepared…Beauty and the Test. 

As I write the afformentioned post, I will be transported into a world where I don’t have a paper about blogging due tomorrow that I’m postponing finishing by writing in my blog (which isn’t as bad as writing a blog about missing the class about blogging). I’ll be whisked away into a magical world where I can instantly exchange that empowered-tomb-raider-confidence into the highly-literate-mushy-romantic feeling I get from “Tale As Old As Time.”

Ariel: Look at this stuff, isn’t it neat? Wouldn’t you think my big paper’s complete? Wouldn’t you think I’m a girl, a girl who has time to waste? But who cares, no big deal, I want more. I want to be where the graduates are, wanna see, wanna see ’em sleeping. Spending some time on that, what do you call it again? Bed! Up where they walk, up where run, up where they stay all day in the sun wandering free, wish I could be done with exams!

Fun fact: When I was a wee one (watching too much British TV lately), my mom only let me watch thirty minutes of TV every day. So, of course, I just watched half an hour of Beauty and the Beast every day. I don’t know if that was because I was already in love with books, France, the countryside, and talking to furniture or if I developed those as a result of my preschool obsession.

Pocahontas: Have you even done a paper ‘fore it’s due? Or asked the grinning TA why he grins? Can you write with all the focus of a grad student? And can you keep your eyes open till it’s done? Can you keep your eyes open till it’s done? Come study late here in McKeldin, come taste the bad coffee at the cafe, come use up all the riches of your terpcard, and for once never wonder what is left. The coffee and the junk food are my brothers. The laptop and the sweatpants are my frieenndddsss. And we are all competing against each other…in a job search…in a recession that never ends!

Well, now it’s almost 1 am, and the reality of my impending paper and test (if you’re reading this professor, I did get most of it done already, I just have to you know…uh…touch it up) has brought me back to the real world. Well actually, it’s making me feel more like I’m in a sing-a-along in the Phantom of the Opera: Let my opera of eloquent essays begin.


12 thoughts on “You Must Finish This Paper As Swift As A Coursing River

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  4. Oh my god, I love ‘I’ll make a man out of you’ and Phantom of the Opera! Haha love the song re-interpretations, best way to procrastinate 😉

    • Didn’t know! That song is so good. I just listen to it on repeat and imaging what a freakin awesome lady warrior I would make

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