Wanting Sadness

It wasn’t the fault of the bench or the insensitivity of a premature winter sunset. I don’t blame the cheerful people filling all the open spaces, cutting off every avenue for escape. Logically, I can’t hold the cold night air accountable for failing to clear my mind while I sat on my favorite bench. For a moment, I did raise my eyebrows at God. I know better, in these occasional hours of distress, than to ask for happiness. Happiness is far too trivial an emotion to do any real good. Happiness- can I be frank here?- perhaps it’s overrated. No, what I most thirst for when internal chaos is making it hard to breath is not a sip of air, but a full lung- an emotion deep enough to meet me where I am and respond. Happiness might see the silver lining; I desperately need to see the gold of this whole hurting.

From slumber, I awoke in the morning
To the sweetest sadness
A vision of the unreachable ideal-
While sleeping, I moved through the veil
It still floated in my mind after waking
And the loss of this will surely be
My Ache and my Longing
For the many years of momentary trial.

000027

Advertisements

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s